Desperate to Pay Bills and Buy Food
by Sarah ShelnuttLink to article
I’m a 20-something Midwesterner still living at home. I’m attending college number three, bouncing around schools trying to settle for somewhere I can afford and take classes I like. I am currently unemployed (much like my parents), desperately seeking something to pay the bills and keep food on the table.
My first school was $20,000 a year, which I took out a loan to cover. I worked only a few hours a week, and ran up several credit cards to keep afloat. I dropped out because it was so expensive, and I had no guidance. I spent the next year working full time at a grocery store, making more terrible financial decisions. Only upon loan repayment time did I return to school. I attended a local tech school for a one year program in Baking Production, which I loved very much, but had to turn my back on when there was no market for me to even intern in; I still don’t have a diploma because no one will let me spend 64 hours in their shop doing any sort of work, no pay, no questions asked.
For the first year, I worked two jobs, 30+ hours a week; 10 hour days on weekends. I made enough to pay all of my bills and maintain some semblance of dignity. I did everything I could to help my friends learn from my mistakes, not to buy things they couldn’t afford, stop going out to eat, anything to cut corners and save money. I returned another year to finish up general education requirements and try to gather up some transfer credits for when I switched schools to pursue a better degree. I took out loans to further provide for this tuition, as well as pay down other debts so I could try to focus on school.
In 2008, I lost both jobs when one location closed and the other laid me off. I was lucky to find another job working retail in August. Later, I applied to Ohio State University and was accepted and was to major in Japanese, as I have wanted to since high school. I had to turn down the school because of my parents and my own financial situation. I managed to sign up for classes, find an apartment, set up a job transfer, but I had zero dollars to finance my dream. I withdrew and lost out on several hundred dollars that I used to travel back and forth and get my paperwork processed.
This November, I was fired from my job; I gave my brother my discount, which is applicable to immediate family. I left on a Wednesday night, being assured I still had a job. When I returned Saturday to meet with management and begin working again, I was told I was “too shifty” and I was fired. No probation, no arguments, no nothing. I had a perfect record, no write ups, constant praise from coworker and customers, excelled at my job. However, it’s been made obvious to me that hard work and honesty clearly do not pay off.
Right now I attend a local university, mostly on financial aid, and rather enjoy it. I major in Anthropology which I love, but I’m afraid I’ll be like countless others with a BA, managing the local fast food shop or shift managing retail. I’m still seeking employment with great zeal; my unemployment is being held due to a “problem with my case” and I have nothing to live on. My student loans continue to garner a high percentage of interest. At their core I have taken out somewhere around $60,000. By the time I will pay them off, they are estimated to be well over $170,000. I sit on a considerable amount of credit card debt, most of it to pay for textbooks, food, and some clothing. There are days where I wonder what the hell I’m doing with my life, how I let it get this bad, why me, and so forth. I hold myself responsible for 99.99% percent of what happens, so I try to take life with a grain of salt and make amends whenever I possibly can.
However, the real tragedy is with my parents…
In 2008 my mother broke her ankle. She was rushed to the hospital, and had lots of work done. She eventually had surgery, putting several pins and a large screw in her ankle. She was in the hospital for a very short period, and had to return home. Our insurance insisted that a hospital stay was not necessary; a bed, commode, and table were rented and placed in our living room. My mother would remain there until March of 2009.
In February 2009, my mother had heard through the grapevine that she no longer had a job. She still has never gotten an official notice of unemployment, and when she did make contact with the company, she was run around by corporate and never given any answers. She’s still bitter about it, but really has no idea where to go or what to do. Obviously, she hasn’t been able to find anything, given her frail bone state. Right now, she collects very little unemployment and some disability.
Just before Christmas 2008, my father had a very sore toe. Desiring to be home with my mother, he insisted on staying in and not getting checked. Finally, after his whole leg had become red, he opted to see the doctor. He found out his diabetes was worsening, and he would have to have an amputation done before it got much worse. He was in the hospital for some time, and returned home to stay alongside my mother. It was better, and then worse. He again went back to the hospital to find out what happened. I don’t know exact medical reasoning, but I do know he had a Mercer infection, and the few times I did visit him, I was to wear gloves and a gown in the room. He returned to work for 2 weeks in the summer, and was quickly returned to the house for more health problems.
Over the last year, this has gone on; dialysis 3 times a week, a nurse visits at least once a week, and he has been in and out of the hospital. He still is in and out, now back in a wheelchair — because he was walking on uneven feet, he had to have a tendon lengthened in his opposite foot, which has proved to be quite painful. More and more things are ailing him, and it’s hard to fix all of them.
My father only gets a small amount of disability, no compensation otherwise. My parents combined only receive $80 a month in food stamps. They are on insurance and Medicaid, which covers the vast majority of what they need now, however, it doesn’t hold a candle to other bills. In light of this, they began filing bankruptcy. With no income, there’s no way to pay for anything. We still have our house, but a lot is up in the air about what will happen.
My mother takes on a sort of grim optimism. I’m being told everything happens for a reason and that everything will work out, but I’m absolutely terrified. I know it’s a screwy situation, but I know that we aren’t the only ones dealing with these sorts of problems. Things very well may work out in the end, but I’m worried about what’s going on now.
Tags: bankruptcy, health care costs, student-loan-debt, unemployment