Gullible’s Isle
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Each of us, no matter how intelligent or experienced, quickly becomes “gullible” when faced with an endless (and heartless/shameless) parade of “professional” parasites. In “Bait and Switch,” these included career coaches, personality tests, résumé writers, networking groups/events, boot camps, image managers, how-to/pop psychology books, direct contact with target-company gatekeepers, proselytizers, crisis managers, real estate/commission-only sales, pyramid schemes and job fairs. The lesson: 95+ percent of what you try will be a complete waste of money, time and effort – and over time, the number of potential rescuers will dwindle to a precious few.
Which of the seven stranded castaways should you turn to in helping you get off the island of misfit job seekers? In addition to yourself (“Gullible”), there’s Web/online navigation (“Skipper”), ne$t egg (“Thurston”), family/faith/friends (“Mrs. Howell”), “network” (“Ginger”), counselors and HR screeners (“Mary Ann”), and information sources/databases (“Professor”). A proven comedy-show formula – and B&S was tongue-in-cheek funny, tinged with the bitter realization that the author had a lifeboat moored at that same island.
Why not use the above castaways to your advantage? For yourself, I would suggest reading Po Bryson’s “What Should I Do With My Life?” (sample chapters). You can pick it up at any library, and it’s extremely readable, consisting of real-life stories that will help you determine your search for true meaning and passion. You will also recognize some of your blind spots and rationalizations through the learning experiences of others. If you would prefer the personality-test approach, you can plunk down $16 for Nicholas Lore’s “The Pathfinder,” or about $520 for the next level of testing (http://www.rockportinstitute.com/). Bolles is another resource (http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/).
For Web/online navigation, you may find John Lucht’s Web site, free newsletter and book especially valuable (www.ritesite.com). Find out what companies you’re most interested in, and create job agents right on their Web sites. The Web site www.Indeed.com is simple, yet effective.
As for your finances, you would be smart to keep your debt low and your savings high. In an ever more fickle field such as corporate communications – the field that Barbara Ehrenreich attempted to enter – “there is no transparent way to judge [our] performance, and no protection from capricious firings.” [B&S, p. 234] Sooner or later, the “fickle finger of fate” will be pointed at you. Be prepared.
Family, faith and friends (pets, diet and exercise also) are your emotional and psychological bedrock when all around you is seemingly crumbling. Schedule time and prioritize accordingly.
“Networking” is a way for outplacement services to keep their overhead costs down. Old guides (www.superjobsearch.com) rave about it; more enlightened sources (http://www.rsronline.com, Irv Pfeiffer) claim that a direct-mail campaign is far more effective. The Five O’Clock Club (http://www.fiveoclockclub.com) is a relatively inexpensive alternative.
Counselors and HR screeners are usually beholden to their own interests or the company’s, not yours. The free initial consultation is usually worthwhile – and Problem-Action-Result (PAR) should be part of your repertoire (http://www.careermarketing101.com/methodology.html).
Finally, regarding information sources/databases, get a library card and familiarize yourself with your local library (also see: http://www.refdesk.com ). It’s the most cost-effective resource available (already subsidized by your tax dollars). Many offer seminars for effective job/career searches – and research on your target companies can differentiate you from other job candidates.
By getting people to share their experiences in an organized way, United Professionals is a promising concept. Recognize, however, that some cover or anonymity may need to be provided, so that avowed members are not stigmatized by the whiff of “union-organizing” or “quasi-socialism.”
The takeaway? Refuse to be taken for granted – and stay proactively connected.
– Name Withheld by Request
November 29th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
My nomination for parasite of the month is the University of Washington Business School. They suggested that I spend $25K to pursue their graduate business degree so that I could sit in classes next to others who might hire me. The same senior manager I approached for job search directions, who had referred me to the Business School, suggested he might want to hire me to teach there. It took a few months, but my 30-year track record and similar degree from back East got me hired full-time elsewhere without spending the $25K on UW. And UW’s interest in hiring me suddenly dematerialized as I declined the expenditure.
December 1st, 2006 at 3:12 pm
I had forgotten that expensive aspect of my job search. Allen and Associates claims to have expertise in tapping the “hidden job market” through the sending of unsolicited résumés and cover letters to company presidents. Once you’ve sent them out, you’re left on your own, or at least I was. Since they don’t give refunds, but rather give you something of similar “value” (such as a résumé “blast”) to assuage your discontent, they have it made. According to the bbb.org report, the company prefers to handle its own complaint resolution, rather than have it mediated through the BBB. Of course they would!
December 4th, 2006 at 10:07 am
> Recognize, however, that some cover or anonymity
> may need to be provided, so that avowed members
> are not stigmatized by the whiff of “union-
> organizing” or “quasi-socialism.”
As the signature on this article (”– Name Withheld by Request”) shows, anonymity is available to those who want it. As for organizing and socialism, I’m all for both, because the lack of either is, and has been since Reagan, in large part the primary problem with our society under either party.
December 5th, 2006 at 7:57 am
Love the concept: UP Parasite of the Month awards!
Here’s a new parasite:
http://WWW.primericabusinessopportunity.com
Woo-hoo!
December 8th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Andy:
Been there, done that, was solicited in response to a “Situations Wanted” ad. I was encouraged to take the state insurance exam, which I passed, after which all upline support evaporated. Once I dropped out, the people on my prospects list started getting unsolicited phone calls from these pr—s.
January 5th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Parasite of the month! What a great idea! I would love to see litigation against the parasirtes using consumer fraud statutes. If anyone out there is aware of such suits in their jurisdication, let me know.
January 6th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I parasite contacted me at my “disposable_american” page at myspace seeking to be added as a friend! I know a parasite when I see or hear it - buzzing about wanting into my pocket! She calls herself Lynn, claimaing to be from Michigan. She clearly created her myspace page today. Her link ish http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=145786317.
I am half tempted to approve her friend request in order to - bait her some in order to expose her.
January 15th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
It is reminiscent of the death camps, in which the most malleable prisoners were “appointed” as guards to torture their former brethren. So now we have MLM’ers sucking the remaining life out of the already downtrodden — vultures cleaning the bones before the stink of rotting flesh can jar the rest of us from our mindless busywork. Delusional due to our circumstances, we all think that next time, the Publisher’s Clearinghouse giveaway team will arrive with all best intentions on our doorsteps — or that our locker combination will win the next Powerball lottery. Instead, we are set upon with these plague-like locust swarms, leaving nothing but dust and drained dollars. How do we vote these soul surgeons off the Island?