I’m told that I still look “good” for my age, but age is what it is. At some point they will have to know the truth - when you complete paperwork for medical insurance or sign permission for a background check it all comes out. I come from a generation that looked up to and respected their elders, maybe the last generation as far as I can tell.
After working for unscrupulous, greedy people who happened to be in real estate when the sub prime market blew up on their company last year I found myself unemployed, a lay off and office closure due to lack of work. The simple truth is no one at the corporate level cared about the people or how they might be affected. No one so much as said “thanks for your hard work and service.”
I collected unemployment to the bitter end of the 6 month period without being able to find another job that would come close to paying me what I earned before. Unemployment ran out in March and I still have not found a permanent job. My savings are gone and I now face reposession of my car, the IRS threatening to Levy for money I owe them for back taxes that were underpaid in 2006 and I’ve been paying off monthly. I am not accustomed to the bill collectors calling me daily and it’s not only bad for morale, but also very depressing. Oh, and did I mention that my fridge is empty most of the time, I buy my dog what she needs (lucky for me she is small) and hope for invitations where I can take home left overs to live on till the next dinner out. Last week I actually considered suicide! No worries, I won’t do that but it sure would be an end to my troubles. I have no one to fall back on, no one who can help me through this, and no one I can move in with. I sold anything I could that would help me keep up with my bills and now it’s all gone. I have always been the strong family member who everyone else turned to for help making it hard for me to now ask for help from anyone.
This week brought news that I now need surgery for a cataract as my vision has deteriorated making it difficult to work on the computer or see well enough to drive. Stress? Who knows. My family can’t help for a variety of reasons I won’t go into. I am so overwhelmed at this point I don’t know where to turn. Holding on to what is left of my pride is important to me, but I realize I’m facing having to pay a visit to the local Social Service Office and find out how I can get emergency housing for me and my little dog, (try finding a place to live with a dog) medical insurance and I guess food stamps. Luckily my landlord has been understanding and kind all things considered. I try to pick up temp jobs to meet the bare survival expenses, but I need something permanent with insurance. You can’t rely on getting enough temp work, that’s been my expereince and it took weeks to be asked to the first temp job.
Said best, people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. I was so busy supporting others for so many years, I forgot to take better care of myself in the process. Wanting to see the rest of my very small family on their feet I forgot to plan for myself or kept putting it off, thinking, or not, that I still had a little time or maybe I’d meet Mr.Right and get married again. Times up! The future is here and I have started collecting my social security early because I had to- $684 a month. Yes. That’s ALL there is. And I never wanted to become a burden on my family or society!
On a recent job interview I noticed the interviewer writing on my application and when I stood up I leaned over to see what she had written. “Older” was the word. I pointed it out to her and she ,red faced, replied, “oh I just do that to remind myself.” Yeah sure, honey! On another I was outright asked my age, which I know isn’t legal yet the discrimination continues anyway. Why tell her she was breaking a law, I’m sure she knew and just didn’t care, the lick em while they’re down syndrome! I am trying to not be bitter, accepting part of this is my own fault for not planning better for myself. Yet, when someone tells you he received just over 100 resumes for the position and they will be interviewing for weeks, or when people say they will let you know one way or the other and you never hear from them again, or when you take the time to respond to an add and hear back nothing at all, it’s hard to NOT feel angry and bitter,not at anything or anyone in particular, just at the situation in general. What really burns me up is this; (for anyone else trying to find a job listen up well)As a result of job searching on the Internet and clicking on various adds I am now receiving daily emails promsing me money for doing data entry or surveys etc.
KNOw THAT 99% OF THESE ARE SCAMS, PEOPLE! “They” the invisable vultures, see a need and come crawling out of the woodwork to take advantage of people are desperate or may not know better than to give out a bank account number for a one time debit to pay for a list or the like. I cannot believe the meanness in some when they see you down and still attempt to take advantage. That makes me angry and bitter for the ones who are being duped.
I have never had a difficult time finding a job so this is an unbearable situation for me - I have good skills, I’m hard working and reliable, honest and I have great references. I think I’ve done all the right things, but to no avail. I’ll try to maintain my dignity and keep a sense of humor and positive attitude etc. till I’m working again but it’s hard, it’s really hard! And some days you just want to give up you feel so beaten up.
I ask that your readers share their experience and please give me some guidance and advice that may help me find work locally, which is in New Haven, Connecticut, or better yet offer me a job! I’ll get my eye fixed ASAP and be as good as new, even if “old”. I may be an oldie to some, but I am most certainly a goodie to all!
